Opinion: The Ten Craziest Mario Bosses in Nintendo History
Over his 20 years of starring in video games, Mario and his friends have faced some bizarre opponents. From murderous suns to pianos with a killing streak, everything from the normal enemies to the toughest bosses often end up being some of the weirdest opponents in the video game world. But even among this lot, some bosses go even further and end up making even the regular Koopa Troop look sane. Here they are, the ten craziest, strangest and most outright bizarre bosses in Mario history.
10. Harsh Possessor
What is it: A staircase that roars and lunges around like a ferocious animal.
First on the list, we get a familiar foe from the recent 3DS adventure Luigi’s Mansion Dark Moon.
Now admittedly, all the Possessors are more than a little strange in their own way. I mean, there was one that took over a clock and one that possessed a frozen pond for goodness sake! But the Harsh Possessor just has to be the strangest of the lot.
Why? Because it takes the form of a staircase. And not just any old staircase either; this thing actually roars at Luigi and lunges around like some sort of wild animal! Just listen to its boss music, you can hear how plain ferocious this thing appears to be just by the sound effects:
Above: You’d think the creature in this came off an African safari…
May I reiterate that it’s a freaking staircase that’s roaring at Luigi folks? A staircase is menacingly growling and trying to rip a plumber’s head off. Only in the Mushroom Kingdom folks, only in the Mushroom Kingdom.
9. Six Face Sal (Yoshi’s Island DS)
What is it: A living wheel of faces that rotates around when you move a platform
Above: Originality, or Artoon out of ideas? You choose.
The next thing on the list… is kind of hard to even describe. Basically, Six Face Sal is a collection of weird looking heads stuck to a wheel. Underneath said wheel is another wheel with four moving platforms attached to it, upon which the player character stands for the entire boss battle. Jumping between these platforms rotates the wheel they’re attached to, and this rotates the wheel of heads above at the same time. It’s an odd setup to say the least.
To make it even weirder, the boss itself isn’t actually in the room when you enter the battle. No, its whole existence is started by Kamek using his magic on a wheel attached to the wall. Kind of like how using magic on a flower pot turns it into a ghost that you then have to shove off a cliff.
Just… just look at the video. Because there’s literally no way to describe this thing without it sounding completely ridiculous.
8. Mount Pajamaja (Mario & Luigi Dream Team)
What is it: A volcano that tries to murder the Mario bros by running them over
Above: NOW IMA GET SUPERHEATED!
Another foe from a recent video game, Mount Pajamaja is one of the giant bosses you fight in the latest Mario & Luigi game, Mario & Luigi Dream Team.
And just like the Possessors in Luigi’s Mansion Dark Moon, the giant bosses you fight in the series are best described as ‘whatever deranged things the creators could make you fight for the hell of it’. You’ve got a flying castle. A train that turns into a hill. A humongous mecha made of buildings that can form into a giant flying hammer. And then… you’ve got this thing.
It’s just… a volcano. Wait no, it’s a sentinent volcano with a face, hands and feet that tries to run you over and ends up being taken down in a giant boss battle (part of which basically involves playing tennis with the boss). It also does the rather unique thing of leaping from the top of the mountain after the Mario bros just because they hit it in the nose a few times. Because as we all know, volcanoes are the most agile beings around!
But if you think this thing is weird, you’ve seen nothing yet…
7. Manta Storm/Phantamanta (Super Mario Sunshine)
What is it: A shadow… thing that spreads electric goop and attacks a hotel
Like this Manta Ray shadow of death! Yup, the Phantamanta/Manta Storm/whatever the hell you might call it is a shadowy manta ray creature that lays electric goop and tries to attack a hotel on a sunset beach.
It then splits into about 64 smaller versions that attempt to swarm Mario in some desperate attempt to kill him for no real reason whatsoever. So in other words, a very strange enemy.
But do you know what makes it stranger? What this boss is a reference too. Basically, read this article below:
At the end of The Shining (the book), a character notices a ‘ghostly manta shape, floating away over the hotel’. This was paper thin and broke into smaller forms before drifting away.
Yeah, a Mario game of all things references a Stephen King novel with a boss battle! So not only is this monster one of the most annoying, difficult to kill bosses in the series, but it’s also a reference to a famous horror book/movie that’s somehow present in a Mario game. Talk about strange boss concepts…
6. Bundt (Super Mario RPG)
What is it: The world’s most dangerous wedding cake
After a wheel, volcano and manta ray shadow, you’re probably wondering what the heck could be even weirder still. Well, read the ‘what is it’ description above and that’ll tell you.
Bundt, is a living wedding cake. A wedding cake that somehow tries to kill the party with its dangerous attacks and powers.
The story behind him in a nutshell is… sort of simple. Basically, Princess Peach got seperated from Mario and Bowser at the start of the game, and ended up in a place called Booster’s Tower. This area was home to a deranged lunatic (who looked a lot like Wario with a beard and viking helmet) called Booster, who decided the princess should marry him for whatever crazy reason.
He took her to a chapel in a place called Marrymore for the wedding, and the party ends up breaking up said wedding for obvious reasons. But because said wedding was cancelled, the insane chef responsible for the cake decides to attempt to kill party. And then somehow his creation comes to life and starts using powerful magic against everyone. Yes really. The wedding cake has the ability to cause blizzards and sandstorms and shoots dangerous sawblades at the party. It’s a powerful cake you see.
Do I really need to say more? I mean, it’s a freaking wedding cake that has psychotic tendencies. That you defeat by putting out the candles by attacking them. And that gets finished off by Booster eating it. The very fact you even fight it puts it on this list.
5. Bowser’s Memory ML (Mario & Luigi Bowser’s Inside Story)
What is it: Bowser’s memories of the Mario bros, who try to kill the real Mario bros.
Above: The most unusual ‘hero clone’ enemy seen in gaming history?
Ah the good old mirror boss. The time honoured tradition of having a weird player character doppleganger as a boss in a video game as a way of turning the hero’s abilities against them. But Mario & Luigi Bowser’s Inside Story’s way of doing this is even more strange than most of them.
See, during the storyline, Mario and Luigi have to explore Bowser’s memory banks to find the code to a safe (so that Bowser can open it in the outside world). But when the bros try and enter said place, the… weird mental assistant thing considers them intruders and attacks. By sending out Bowser’s own memories of the Mario bros to battle them!
Yeah, in a twist that sounds like it was taken directly from a modern Doctor Who episode, the Mario bros end up fighting their own blocky clones in a battle that just has to be seen to be believed.
You’ve got the clones using attacks based on Mario and Luigi’s adventures like the invincibility star, hammer throws, being chased by a Boo or becoming giants. You’ve got Bowser’s Memory L acting like the real Luigi and being a coward who runs off screen every few turns. You’ve even got the clones healing each other with 1-Up Mushrooms in the same way as the player in their own battles!
All in all, it’s an interesting concept for a boss battle, and one that’s strange enough to put the creepy duo right on the list of weirdest Mario bosses.
4. Sea Pipe Statue (Mario & Luigi Bowser’s Inside Story)
What is it: A water fountain gone horribly wrong
Yet another foe from Mario & Luigi Bowser’s Inside Story (what is it with Mario & Luigi series monsters and being strange anyway?), the Sea Pipe Statue is another bizarre attempt by Fawful to off the party with an insane contraption that no one in their right mind would expect to end up fighting.
And as the title suggests, in this case said weird contraption just happens to be a robotised water fountain. One that has the dubious honour of also being one of exactly two monsters in the game who can hurt Bowser from inside his body.
It also has the somewhat humorous quote by Fawful heard beforehand, one that makes the whole thing sound… just a bit ridiculous in an unfortunate way:
Above: Bad choice of wording? Most definitely.
Really, the Sea Pipe Statue is just a strange choice of enemy in general, nothing more needs to be said.
3. Large Fry (Wario Land Shake It)
What is it: A fish chef that rides around in a frying pan
Above: When most people use kitchen implements to attack, they hit people with them. Not ride them…
The first of the list’s two Wario Land foes, Large Fry is by far the most unusual of the bosses in Wario Land Shake It (and when your choices are between The Stig, a robot clown head and a killer pot plant, that is saying something). Best described as a fish chef riding in an oversized frying pan, this… character is about as bizarre as they come.
Really, it’s an evil chef, who happens to be fish, who spends the entire battle riding in some sort of frying pan/wok type instruments that can somehow come zooming across the screen like a rocket and who just happens to spit missiles at Wario in the process. Lots and lots of missiles, all of which are heat seeking.
Did I mention that he can summon many random types of monsters, including the undead Recapitators and the never seen outside this boss battle Buccaneros? That you feed him bombs to take him down? That when you defeat this thing, he deflates and flies around the screen like Burt the Bashful in Yoshi’s Island? Basically, he’s one of the most unusual things you’ll ever fight in a video game period. That’s why he gets the number 3 spot on this list.
2. Cuckoo Condor (Wario Land 4)
What is it: A homocidal condor that shoots exploding eggs that takes the form of a psychotic cuckoo clock that shoots lasers
And here’s the other Wario Land boss on the list. In fact, if there was a good candidate for ‘number one thing you couldn’t explain about gaming without coming across as a lunatic’, this…. creature would be it. As the description says, it’s a flying cuckoo clock that shoots lasers and buzzsaws.
Or well, that’s part of it. The other part is a giant condor ghost that flies around dropping exploding eggs. That hatch into cute little chicks when they hit the floor. Which then chase after you kamikaze style and explode.
Really, just watch the video and stare in ‘wonder’ at how deranged Nintendo’s character designers can be. Because believe you me, this, Large Fry and the character in the number 1 spot on the list would make even your Japanese TV audience wonder what the hell was going on.
1. Chuckolator (Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga)
What is it: Living soda that gets stronger via the power of humour
Okay, so it’s the end of the list. The final entry. We’ve had living wheels, frying pan riding chefs, murderous clocks and killer wedding cakes. So what in the name of [insert deity here] could possibly be stranger than all of those put together?
Answer? This. The Chuckolator from Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga.
Above: Best way to describe this is ‘what the hell was that?’
It’s living soda. You know, like Coca Cola or Sprite or something. It has a shield made from the barrel it was stored in prior to the fight. It beats up Popple and Bowser badly enough to send them flying into the distance. And the Chuckola company founder Bubbles heals it by telling the creature bad jokes like What do idiots drink? So-duhhhh! What do sodas call their dads? Pop! A hippie’s favorite soda? Granola cola!
For being the very epitome of ‘weird Mario bosses’, the Chuckolator rightfully takes the first spot on this list. Because let’s face it, can you think of anything more strange and unusual than living soda that heals via humour? Even in Japan this thing would probably come across as out of the ordinary…
So that’s my list of crazy Mario bosses. Do you agree with them? Think I missed out some obvious choices? If so, comment here or at the forums at Nintendo 3DS Community.com today!